The Best Day Ever: Sarcasm at its Best

My day was going so great today that I decided to blog about it. Let me enumerate the highlights:

1. I got only 3 hours of sleep last night.

I was up all night researching about short stories and transitions. My face was almost literally glued to the screen; reading page by page, the clicking sounds of my mouse breaking the silence. A vast pool of information was within my reach, only seconds away from being accessed. The whole world was within my grasp. I was the King of the World… or maybe not. But it would be a killer experience to be one.

2. Hardly ate breakfast.

I slowly open my eyes, waking up from a quick but deep sleep. I half-expect to fall back to sleep instantly, closing my eyes in preparation. Minutes went by, still aware of my surroundings. I couldn’t sleep, nor did I feel sleepy. Deprived of sleep, I jumped out of bed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Bacon and Eggs. I LOVE BACON. Pair it with an egg and its cloud nine. Perfect way to start a day, wouldn’t you agree? But from where I come from, its paired with rice. I wouldn’t settle with just bacon and eggs. That’s when the problem made a special appearance – rice was insufficient. I had no choice. It was either eat or be eaten. Oh wait! That’s different. Let me rephrase it: To eat? Or not to eat? That is the question. Outcome: I ate (eventually). I had, like, three spoonful servings. T’was more like a snack, if you ask me.

3.Went to school to watch our annual cheer dance competition, with unwary heads blocking the only view I had.

Startin’ Wednesday, my school (Leyte Normal University) will be holding its three-day intramurals, as part of the school’s tradition. Annually, a cheer dance competition is held as an enthusiastic and energetic way to kick start the events. Four teams compete for the ultimate glory of being granted the title of Cheer Dance Champions. The teams are composed of representatives from each year level; Freshmen – associated with the color Green, Sophomores – associated with the color Red, Juniors – associated with the color Blue, and, last, but not the least, Seniors – associated with the color Yellow. Being a Senior myself, my bet was on the Seniors’ Team. Our education system is a bit different; we have 3 years in nursery, 6 years in Elementary, 4 years in High School, and 4 years in College (depending on your desired course – mine is Bachelor of Science in Hotel and Restaurant Management [BSHRM] so I get 4 years).

Last year, the Cheer Dance Champions were the Juniors, namely, us. This year, we had to level it up, put some more oomph in to it. Sadly, this is our final year at our school, and what better way to end it than by leaving a legacy behind. I can already visualize the headlines on our school’s newsletters: “Cheer Dance Champions, two years straight.” A commendable feat indeed, bestowed upon the worthy.

Students gathered at the school’s quadrangle, positioning themselves for the much-awaited competition. Securing a good position was one of the keys to enjoying. I would’ve secured myself a nice spot, but I got to school a little late than expected. As a result, I got a crappy view, with a bunch of trees and the roof of the quadrangle consisting most of it. Need I mention the oh-so-wonderful heads seamlessly making their way in front of me, diminishing the limited view I had? What’s more, the person beside me kept pushing me aside, unconsciously, as she struggled to get a better view. Tough luck, chick. If I wasn’t getting a decent view, no one was. Well, actually, I didn’t do anything to her, but I did resent her uncanny behavior. Other than that, I was good… not!

4. Searched the whole school for the person holding our section’s attendance, failing miserably in the process.

As part of the school’s policy, the students are hereby informed and encouraged to sign the attendance sheets so as not to create complications when school’s about to end. I always have perfect attendance. Okay, not really perfect, but I try to. I’m known to be the attendance freak, wanting to have a near-immaculate attendance. I strive to be the best in most cases. And today was one of ‘em. I searched high and low, looking for the person holding our section’s attendance, As hard as I tried, I couldn’t find the person holding our section’s attendance sheet. In fact, I didn’t encounter anyone from our section. So sad. As the years pass, my classmates become less interested in school events. This year was no exception. And it’s supposed to be the last. Sigh…

5. Psyched myself up, waiting for my first ever assignment at our practicum laboratory, only to find out that my name wasn’t on the list.

Fourth Year BSHRM students are required to perform their practicum at the university’s practicum laboratory, specially constructed for our benefit. Basically, as part of the practicum, we are assigned different positions, changing every week. One can be a Room Attendant this week, and then become a Front Desk Clerk the next week. It’s random so one could be any when scheduled.

I was scheduled to start this week, with the schedule being posted today for the following week. My enthusiasm meter was so high; I hardly had control of my own body. I closed my eyes to prepare myself, and then opened it subtly. I mentally read each name, building up thrill as I made myself to the bottom of the list. Drained was my energy, a hollow body left in the cold. My name was not part of the new schedule. I couldn’t be any happier… Grrrrrrrrr!

6. I lost a lot of money.

This has got to be the main attraction, the main dish in a full meal of complete disasters. It tops the list at any given time. And it came last, as if to mock me. Like, all the “happy” events that happened today were building up to this, gradually drowning me in a sea of anger and frustration.

Do casinos ring a bell? You know, roulettes and slot machines? Well, none of that are relevant here. Heck, I don’t even know how to play poker. But the outcome, the bittersweet taste of defeat and losing all those chips/money, that’s what’s relevant here. Too relevant.

I was about to check my money, count it and take not how much I have left. To my surprise, my supply of money has depleted. To make things clear, I did not lose it, rather, it was stolen. I was too naïve to place all my money in one place. I still have a few, as not all were stolen. A few U.S. dollars to use in the future as we use a different currency here in our place. (We use Philippine Peso as our currency) Lesson learned: Saving is good, but useless if it gets stolen. Know the appropriate places to keep your money.

Therefore, I conclude, that this has been the happiest day of my life. My sarcasm-filled blog surely has bored you to death, but if you got this far without accidentally banging your head at your laptop for falling asleep, then I should commend you of your bravery, patience, and perseverance. Thumbs up!


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